Sunday, December 14, 2014

Hey Missy - Doctor Who Parody by Legs Nose Robinson

Hello yet again, my fellow prisoners... I know I still have to get around to posting the very first Doctor Who Meme to complete what seems like a trilogy for the time being, but bear with me here, people--- for my creative Tardis juice seems to have gotten stuck in a time vortex of its own design. Anyways, this here post is a double whammy, since it's a Doctor Who meme in its own right in the form of a music video, which is was a really well done parody in my opinion... So take a look for yourself and enjoy!

Like This Video? If So, Please Click on the Link Below...

Embed Your Music Video On My Blog Gnoyze Fiverr Gig

This has been the infamous P.S. Elliott (AKA: "The Doctor" Gonzo XXVII) reporting for the disassociated press, that is... The Gnoyze Guitar Mods & More Web Blog.

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

My Thoughts Exactly, Dear Anna

To paraphrase one of my favorite comedians, Eddie Izzard... good evening ladies and jelly spoons! And no, that's not meant to replace the usual "My fellow prisoners..." intro, but I felt it appropriate to this here blog post for I came across a video that was so good that I thought it best to virtually dress up for this special occasion. I came across this YouTube channel via Twitter when I followed the awesome web personality that is Anna Creoddity. She is an artists' artist and I believe that this video below sums up pretty much everything I personally despise about the art world and with it, the foolish struggle that modern day artists have to endure needlessly, especially when tools like social media are right at our disposal in this day and age. Basically put... I believe she very effectively managed to put into words just about the same level of frustration I was trying to convey in my previous Art Schmart post (and if you haven't read that one yet, please do so!).

So Anna, I just want to say... thank you for filming this and sharing it.  On behalf of all fellow artists out there who certainly demand a great deal of respect for what they do, I really think this video struck a chord (even if I'm still a bit out of tune).  But kudos to you either way, and let this here humble blog mention be a testament to your genius in the face of creative adversity!  Whatever that means!  For I was just trying (maybe a little too hard) to sound profound with a slight touch of poeticism on the side!  And yes, I know there's no such word as poeticism since the auto correction feature (i.e. red underline) on Blogger told me so!  But it sounds like a near word, so why not assimilate it into the modern day lexicon?  Anyways... enough of my yacking, please watch the video below!

This has been the infamous P.S. Elliott (AKA: Dr. Gonzo XXVII) reporting for the disassociated press, that is... The Gnoyze Guitar Mods & More Web Blog.

Sunday, December 7, 2014

Jungle's Traffic Jam - YUE's BUMPING JAM

Like This Video? If So, Please Click on the Link Below...

Embed Your Music Video On My Blog Gnoyze Fiverr Gig

This has been P.S. Elliott (featuring the smooth jazzy stylings of Doc Gonzo XXVII) reporting for the disassociated press, that is... The Gnoyze Guitar Mods & More Web Blog.

Video Killed the Radio Star: Literal Video Version

Like This Video? If So, Please Click on the Link Below...

Embed Your Music Video On My Blog Gnoyze Fiverr Gig

This has been literally Dr. Gonzo XXVII (yet not quite P.S. Elliott) reporting for the disassociated press, that is... The Gnoyze Guitar Mods & More Web Blog.

Embed Your Music Video on This Blog

All right my fellow mod heads, you asked for it... and I didn't listen.  Then you raised the issue again at our last meeting, and I still didn't listen.  Now, as I find myself broke (due to the fact that I no longer hold any prominent seat on your I say so committee) so I have no other choice but to listen to your suggestion!  So what is it exactly?  No--- I don't believe I even begin to imagine such a feat in aerodynamic contortion like that!  Instead, what I am offering is a chance for your voice, your talent, and your message (check all that apply... if any, that is!) by embedding your music video on my blog for a very low amount (just peanuts, really... in this day and age).

So why not make good use of this virtual real estate (i.e. this blog) that I'm offering you a spot to build a traffic generating ad on in the form of a catchy tune and some moving pictures to go along with it?  In other words, for the low affordable price of just $5.00 a pop (song and/or whatever else have you) I can prominently feature your music video as an entry in my

So for all of you rockin' team combos out there (or just about any other musical artist and/or affiliated party that's interested in general music promotion)... don't hesitate to order my services if you have a music video that you'd like to share.  Do yourselves a favor and simply visit the link at the bottom of this page by clicking on the graphic below and order a gig from me... I guarantee you won't be disappointed!

Embed Your Music Video on My Blog Fiverr Gig Link

This has been Dr. Gonzo XXVII and/or P.S. Elliott; contributing to the ongoing research and development project that is The Gnoyze Guitar Mods & More Web Blog.

Saturday, August 30, 2014

Doctor Who Meme Part 3

Hello once again, my fellow Whovians... today, I'm pleased to announce my latest Doctor Who meme or perhaps memes, if you count quotes on images a meme. So feast your eyes on this and enjoy!

For the record... I noticed this strange resemblance on my own quite a while back, and did a search just to see if anyone else had made a similar connection, (just so I wouldn't come across as stealing anybody else's material) and I found this link here. What can I say? Great minds think alike, eh?

Come to think about, the late great Ron Palillo does
resemble Peter Calpadi a little bit doesn't he?

Nah, wait... Peter looks a lot more like Craig Ferguson. But that's probably
because they were in a band together! (see Dreamboys)

You know, it's all just a big ball of wibbly wobbly
timey whimey meta crisis stuff!

Hang on... wait a minute!  What's this?

He also kind of looked like David Tennant there
for a split second or two, didn't he?!?


So then...

Perhaps Jon can help us out here?

What about you, Tom?

Right...Now you're gettin' it!

This has been Doctor (Who?) Gonzo XXVII transmitting a distress call from the pocket universe in which my home planet of Gallifrey currently resides in and emitting a distress beacon under the guise of P.S. Elliott in order to report for the disassociated press, that is... The Gnoyze Guitar Mods & More Web Blog.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Doctor Who Meme Part 2

Greetings once again, my fellow Whovians... I'd like to introduce a new segment/feature/whatever you want to call a desperate need for filling in some overwhelmingly large and lackluster blog content of mine!  And that, of course, is going to be a series of Doctor Who based memes that I've conjured up (done mostly as a result of out of boredom, mainly because I still don't have a job... which basically just highlights how much the job market sucks).  I'm planning on featuring one of these every week, but then again... plans can fall apart, so don't count on too much creative output on my part... especially since I'm only doing this as a hobby and not getting paid for it (as usual)!  Anyways... this is technically not the first meme I've put together with the Doctor Who motif; in fact... it's the second.  The first one was shared as an image on Google Plus and didn't really have any text to it, so it didn't really classify as a meme.  But in order to keep the continuity honest, I've decided to name this entry as Part 2 and will eventually get around to publishing Part 1 at a later (earlier) date.  It's like I've literally gone into the Tardis and changed a timeline or two!  Anyways, stay tuned for more, and be sure to click on this image for a larger preview.

Also... I was just putting the finishing touches on this blog piece (i.e. any and all related hyperlinks) and stumbled across this story which downright reaks of ignorance.  Why would anybody complain about a shared kiss between a reptile and a human woman?  It wasn't technically a kiss, either... Madame Vastra was simply filling Jenny's lungs with oxygen in order to save her life.  To those six people that complained about this scene... all I have to tell you is: GET A LIFE!!!  And more importantly, STOP TRYING TO RUIN THIS FOR THE REST OF US WHOVIANS, YOU PUDDING BRAINS!!!  

This has been the illustrious Dr. Gonzo XXVII (AKA: P.S. Elliott) reporting for the disassociated press, that is... The Gnoyze Guitar Mods & More Web Blog.

Monday, July 21, 2014

Soler Flare - Photography by Monica

Hello once again, my fellow prisoners... a few months back I conducted a rather brief online interview with a local photographer by the name of Monica Soler, and in the weeks that followed, I realized that I still had this project still sitting in the back burner; and figured it was time I got around to publishing this piece.  So at any rate, to make the same old broken record of a story short, here's an exclusive interview with this very talented photographer who can shoot anything from wedding portraits, to head shots, to live musical event photos, you name it!

PS: How did you get into photography?

MS: Always loved it since I was a child. Started as a hobby then grew to a more professional level.

PS: And around what time would you say that this hobby turned into something more professional?

MS: Probably around 2010.

PS: And what happened during that year for you, professionally?

MS: Well, I created my website, got some business cards printed up, and started working freelance for friends and getting recommendations. Then I started collaborating with models and really getting out there in the field.

PS: Would you say that getting your work out there is as much of a challenge as it is for... say, a visual artist, for example?

MS: Not so much so, since painters and artists do most (of their) work for decorative purposes to hang in someone's home while photographers capture and record moments in people's lives, which is more of an ongoing necessity in every day life. There will always be a person or family in need of a portrait or a photographer for a special event in their lives.

PS: But you have entered your work in local gallery exhibitions, no?  Tell us a bit about that.

MS: Yes. I have had four exhibits total so far for my nature photography work.

PS: And how well would you say that those exhibits fared?

MS: They were okay and was just to get my name out there not to sell. I met a lot of new people in the industry.

PS: So from your first hand experience with these exhibits, do you feel there's a place for your photography in the art world?

MS: Yes of course. Just don't be in the business to make money but for the love and appreciation of art as a whole.

PS: That's great a piece of advice there... do you have any other words of encouragement for any fellow aspiring photographer out there?

MS: Follow your dreams. Love the arts. Teach those around you to love the arts. Always look forward to meeting new people with similar interests that you can learn from to improve your work.

PS: Can you name a few people whom you have you met that share your same passion for photography?

MS: Teajay, my friend Allie.

Model Tsvetanka Vergilova poses for one
of Monica's candid photo shoots.

PS: What would you say has been your most memorable, or notable moment in your career as a photographer?

MS: Italy. the most memorable and notable.

PS: Tell us about that...

MS: I was offered the trip to Rome, Italy to shoot a model that I had worked with once before. It is an Ecuadorian magazine named "La Verdad" that focuses on a variety of world and business news with the occasional beauty in the ads. I had several images posted in their magazine. I also recommended by a friend to assist in developing the 2014 Fertile Earth Foundation Calendar last year in 2013.  Proceeds of this calendar went to the foundation and they contacted me again this year to ask if they could use another one of the images I had taken from my previous shoot for their 2015 calendar. I have also worked a few local fundraiser fashion shows for a good cause (because I'm) always willing to help out in the community however I can.

PS: What would you say defines a photograph taken by you... specifically what sets it apart from any other photograph out there?

MS: I have an eye for capturing what I feel is bold, bright, and alluring but I don't define myself exclusively. I like to capture what is within that a normal person would not see from the outside. Only an artistic mind could decipher.

PS: Would you say that a Soler original photograph relies more on what's naturally occurring at the moment the picture was taken or does it undergo post editing to bring out the best in the overall composition?

MS: A little of both. Depending on what type of image it is I am capturing. If it is a portrait of a person and I want to portray what they really look like and accentuate all of their characteristics then the single shot in its original form is favorable. Same goes for nature and architectural images. I want to capture its essence. On the other hand, if it is commercial or fashion models I am working with then most of it relies on how well the makeup artist did the makeup and based on that I will always have to fix a blemish or enhance colors to give the high impact and perfect image that the client is seeking. Of course it all depends again on what type of photo shoot is in play.  The world of photography has endless compositions and styles that appeal to many different people. Everyone has multiple tastes and ideas of what they want out of an image.

PS: And have your own ideas changed over the course of your artistic career as a photographer; meaning... do you change your approach when it comes time to shoot something or someone new, or is there a specific formula that you always follow?

MS: Hmmm... tricky question. We all learn from our experiences and what works better and how to approach certain things in a more efficient way.  I feel I have developed myself professionally in the business of photography and know how to deal with certain clients and how to pick and choose what I feel is beneficial to me and my work. I don't take on a photography job just for the money. I have to like what I am doing and if it doesn't feel right I would rather not do it.

PS: Thank you for taking your time to do this interview.

In addition to candid portraits, Monica also shoots landscapes, does couple/family photos, and has had her pictures of nature showcased in galleries.  Please be sure to check out her Facebook page and hit the like button.

This has been the illustrious P.S. Elliott (AKA: Dr. Gonzo XXVII) reporting for the disassociated press, that is... The Gnoyze Guitar Mods & More Web Blog!

Saturday, April 26, 2014

More Job Faring BS...!

Hello once again, my fellow prisoners... Just thought I'd write this supplemental to my last blog piece/list of grievances as it relates to my present job hunt, which is pretty much frustrating. But at any rate, as I stated before... the best way to find a job via Craigslist is to do a search for apply in person jobs, and like an idiot... I didn't stick to that game plan. And so, I was treated to this email response which is wrought with scamming bullshit. So for the sake of illustrating what I like to call the anatomy of an online phishing scam, I'd like to relay this message that was sent to me, by the likes of yet another bottom feeding piece of shit scammer without nothing else better to do than to take advantage of some poor schmuck (like yours truly over here) who just so happens to be down on his financial luck. That being said... just pay attention to the comments (or very astute observations on my behalf) written in bold, as they all serve as an in depth technical analysis/play-by-play sarcastic remarks stemming from the smart aleck mind of yours truly over here).

Sarcasm Just One More Service I Offer, Free of Charge Image

Hello there, (Note the word "there" itself. What's it doing there? Hello is enough! It's also a bit too informal... why not try Dear Job Applicant instead?)

Thanks for checking my Job (needless capitalization of the letter J) ad in regards to an Office Assistant (O and A capitalized for no apparent reason as well) and for writing as well and my apologies for just getting back at you. (Apologies? Well... it is a waiting game after all isn't it? I apply and hope to hear from you, the employer! That's how this application process works dumb ass!) My name is (insert dumb bitch fuck of a fake ass name here) and I am into the sales of Wedding Gowns (Again with some more needless and useless capitalization here...) and some other wedding apparatus You mean like...chastity belts? as well, been doing this for about 3 years now and I feel it's time I have a shop space of mine. It took you three years to arrive at this conclusion?!? Fuck...! I would also want to seize this medium Seize this medium? You mean, like... seize the day? What a quintessential remark for such an existential asshole! to inform you that and am hard on hearing, Of course, you mean hard of hearing... and probably just as dumb in the proper grammar usage department, too, eh!?! though I read lips and know the sign language The sign language? Well, I happen to know the universal sign of the bird... does that qualify? (I believe this shouldn't be a hindrance in us working together if you are interested in filling up the position). Well, no, but since you went to the extent of including that last remark in parentheses, I'm assuming that your calling attention to your disability is supposed to make me feel sorry for you, huh? Well, tough titties, bitch! Presently, I am in the process of completing payment for a shop space in the Miami Area Gee... what a coincidence! That's the same thing the police investigators are currently doing! (Checking one out at non specific general address omitted and another at actual address omitted) and I need someone I can trust and work with as my assistant and also take care of the store while am away on business trips, you mean like a patsy for when the police shows up inquiring as to your wherabouts, right? someone who is reliable, patient and has good communication skills. I have received a lot of responses in regards to the job position (No shit!?! Wow... I must be the luckiest man on Earth, next to Lou Gehrig, that is!) Ad, (once again, some needless capitalization on the letter A) however, you seem suitable for the job position (right, because I look like a desperate sucker to you, right?) as I have gone through your Resume (capital R... is that your way of calling attention towards lil' ole' me?) and I think you fit the position. Should you be interested in working with me, (well... wasn't that the whole point of this exercise in futility?) I expect you to be of good character, (well, that's one strike against me since I did write this blog with you in mind) fluent in English (nah, I speak Bad English only... and in the proper King's English, too, I might add) and must follow instructions as laid out to you. (Yeah... just so I can repeat this bogus set of instructions to any and all criminal investigative authorities out there and have them follow up their usual line of questioning with: What are you stupid or something, kid?!? You should know better than to trust some deaf bitch that's constantly going out on "business trips" to scout for "job" locations!) Some of the duties to be performed include;

* Answering phones (AKA: phone bitch)

* Data Entry (AKA: typing bitch)

* Greeting Customers (AKA: greeter bitch)

* Sales and Record Keeping (AKA: sales bitch)

* Organizing and maintaining files in an orderly fashion (AKA: organizational bitch)

* Receiving payments and keeping payment record slips etc. (AKA: accounting bitch)

You will be working only four days a week (And is that part time or full time?) and that will be from Mondays - Thursdays, starting from 9.30.a.m - 4.p.m. (Definitely part time...) There will be a 30mins (no space, and incorrect plural) break each day for lunch or whatever the case might be. Your Renumeration/Wage is (Surely, you must mean remuneration, and not re-numeration... as in changing my phone number so that you won't ever get in touch with me again, right?) stipulated at $600/wk with a weekly meal subsidy of $15/day payable every Mondays. (Subsidy? The fuck? Do I look like a farmer now?!?)

WTF Monday Thru Sunday Calendar Image

That being said, I am a simple person and I believe that you will enjoy working with me (Oh God, no!) as working with me is about understanding and loyalty. (Yeah, I understand that I cannot see myself working with a deaf woman that I'd probably have to be screaming at all day long just to get my point across!) Presently, I have my hands filled up as I have some Gowns (And that's... capital G as in G Spot?) coming in next week for some customers who already made payment and also some other gowns that will be going to the New store once I complete payment upon arrival with the Gowns. (Again with the capital letters... are you trying to spell out some secret code in this here email exchanges? I'm sure the NSA would be happy to deconstruct this!) I sincerely hope that you can work with me and if you are interested in this position, kindly get back to me with the following information below so we can proceed with getting acquainted. However, please NOTE that payment will commence once you accept the position as I need to ascertain your efficiency and loyalty. (Loyalty? What the fuck... am I working for the mob here?)

FULL NAMES: (No, I think one name is enough! Unless you want my list of known aliases?)

ADDRESS, Include Apt # If Available (No PO.BOX please): (Right... bogus fowarding P.O. Box addresses are your thing, right?)

CITY: (Well, I can only assume that I'm applying for a local job, unless required travel is a stipulation in my contract... like say, working somewhere in bum fucked Egypt?!?)

STATE: (As in my personal state of affairs? Well it's compete FUBAR, thank you for asking!)

ZIP CODE: (Too revealing, next question)

HOME PHONE #: (Again, too personal... don't want to hear from you or any of the customers you're scamming!)

MOBILE PHONE# (As if random complaints from customers to my home phone number weren't bad enough... now they're hounding me on my cell phone!)

EMAIL ADDRESS: (Not to be confused for the one I sent you my resume through, huh?)

SEX: (Are you asking me out on a date here, bitch?!?)

AGE: (You really are asking me out on a date, aren't ya bitch?)

I will be looking forward to your response and till then, remain Blessed and have a wonderful day. (Spoken like a true Nigerian email scam... FUCK YOU!) ***KINDLY SEND A COPY OF YOUR RESPONSE TO MY PERSONAL EMAIL AS WELL FOR REFERENCE - (Bogus email address at an AOL dot com address... what the fuck are we living in the 1990's here or some shit?).

Kind regards,

(Insert bitch ass first name here)

(Insert long distance telephone number here... you know, in the event that I should be desperate enough to pay for this call) (PLEASE NOTE: WOULD APPRECIATE TEXT MESSAGES ONLY AS YOUR CALL WILL BE FORWARDED TO VOICEMAIL) (No need to raise your text at me! Especially when you're mining for some form of incriminating evidence to use against me in the form of a text log... ain't no way I'm going to be find guilty via means of association, alone, ya dig?).

So, what's the moral of the story here boys and girls? Well, for starters... NEVER give out your information over the internet to anyone. Even if it's just menial shit like a contact number for them to communicate with. The best way to submit a resume online is simply to exclude your contact information and simply ask for the employer to contact you at the very same email address that you sent the resume from so that you can set up an interview at a physical (NO BULLSHIT) address. And as far as references are concerned, don't leave your friends/co-workers/families' numbers in the resume... just leave the usual references available upon request line in there. And if you ever have to deal with one of these bogus scamming fiends, just forward your email along with the full header of the email (so that the investigative forensic technical geeks can track these bastards down) to the proper authorities. And if all else fails, well... you're fucked, plain and simple!

This has been the once illustrious P.S. Elliott (AKA: Dr. Gonzo XXVII) showing off his pearls (or is it perils?) of wisdom, and/or simply reporting for the disassociated press, that is... The Gnoyze Guitar Mods & More Web Blog.

Monday, April 21, 2014

And Starring P.S. Elliott as Himself...

Hello once again, my fellow prisoners... today's blog post is brought to you in part by some long overdue and highly disgruntled venting on my part; because after all, what's a blog for if you can't bitch and moan about your normal everyday petty shit? Am I right, or wrong? Well, here goes... By the way, for our home viewing audience, we recommend that you have a drink in hand, so that you play Never Have I Ever as you read through this, my latest quip here... just pay attention to the instructions in parentheses following each declaration, that I'm sure most of you have or at least have had in common at one some point or another.

First off, I haven't been able to find a job in months. (Drink responsibly). And the worst part about applying for jobs online is that you're usually prone to encountering rather dubious individuals online looking to phish your private information from you and perhaps even commit a great deal of identity theft in your good name. (Another shot, please). And when you're not busy dodging the unauthorized cloning of your buying habits, you usually wind up with a lot of spam in your email, because third party sharing of your personal information is just the standard business practice nowadays, courtesy from the last group of people (or collective organizations, as I prefer to call them) that you would least expect; online job search sites. (Go on... have another swig there!)

One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor Image

What's that you say? Businesses like these wouldn't dare to sell your information, especially if you're currently unemployed and therefore classified as a deadbeat by your federal tax office? Well, you'd be surprised my friend. Don't believe me? Okay... here's what you do; just for shits and giggles. Register online at any of these top 15 job sites and prepare yourself to be treated to a bunch of half assed written emails that all start with: Good day, my good friend, many blessings upon you... I am Amil Sven Kalifa executive outer rim prime minister of Nigeria and I currently find myself dying of cancer. Your name has been selected as the recipient of my late mother's inheritance of $12,000,000,000.00 farthings. Please leave me your name, social security number, phone number, and current place of residents, and our operators will get back to you shortly. (Bartender, make it a double!) Or at least, something as relatively on unethical crack as that there loose paraphrase of a bogus spam email is concerned. All I can hope is that there really is a terminal cancer that'll successfully eat through the colon, reproductive system, and/or any other vital organ pertaining to the author of these annoying messages. Far be it from me to contribute to the sadness of their recently deceased and supposedly wealthy family members, without wishing them all the best in being reunited with their loved ones in the afterlife!

So it is because of this constant deluge of piss poor attempts at stealing my identity online, that I have ceased applying for work through any of the aforementioned online job sites, and instead have opted to scour sites like Craigslist (keep them shots coming, barkeep!) with the search string "Apply in person" as an efficient means of cutting the red tape of bullshit that any and all job seekers out there may and will encounter when they find themselves "between jobs." This method, while not as 100% fail proof, has yielded in at least four face-to-face interviews this year alone, all of which looked promising as far as a starting salary and weekly/bi-weekly disbursement was concerned, but none of which I actually wound up getting chosen to work for. Let's put it this way... I'm on a bad luck streak, okay?

Now, the reason for this, my latest in a series of online gripes is not the lack of finding a well paying job, but rather a lack of professional courtesy on behalf of the employer/recruiters. And by that I mean... have you ever had a job interview where the interviewer goes out of their way to inform you that they'll contact you even if you don't get the job; you know... as a means of old school professional courtesy, and you just wind up sitting impatiently by the phone and/or checking your internet email to hear back from them? (Make a triple, this time, okay?) Well, three out of these four interviews did just that... well, technically two and a half, because I did receive a call after one of my interviews which was probably made in error and when I called them back, I got treated to hearing the sounds of a rather senile old coot on the other end of the line who had to consult with his assistant when I inquired if the missed call was related to a job I had applied for recently. He didn't sound too convincing and seemed even more confused by my job seeking question. Don't you just love wrong numbers? (I can't feel my face, anymore!).

So, rejection after rejection, has prompted me to try my luck at acting, since after all... being a movie extra was in fact, my first actual job. Two days worth of probably the easiest job I've ever had in my life, just so I can get 15 seconds worth of fame on the screen... of course, you have to squint pretty hard to notice me, but I'm there, somewhere! And that I owe to a friend that hooked me up with that once in a lifetime opportunity. Today, however, finding the right casting agency is not as easy as it looks... it's a nearly impossible mission. I almost bit the bullet signing up with an online casting agency that was advertising via Craigslist and then I did some research only to find out that they were a complete scam. Luckily, I told their telephone representative that I'd give them a call back. How's that for irony, eh? Of course, something else happened that very same morning while I was about to contact this agency, and that was an email that my cellphone picked up... it was just the usual credit card payment reminder; or so I thought, until I decided to open it and follow the link to make sure everything was on the up and up, for you can never be too careful, right?

Anyways, I figured it must have been standard routine for a credit card company to send its cardholders a payment reminder via email, even if there's a zero balance on the card; just an automated feature, nothing more. Of course, little did I know that I was well on my way to becoming just another statistic. And how so? You may ask? Well... after receiving this email, I decided to login into my account to see what was what with this unusual payment due notice and it was there that I found out that a fraudulent charge to the tune of three hundred forty-two dollars and sixty cents had been placed on my balance. So one thing led to another... (of course, I held off on contacting the aforementioned casting agency until I got this issue cleared up with my credit card issuer first) and so I resolved the problem. They agreed to refunding me for the fraudulent charge and are investigating into this matter. ;So, for the time being, it looks as though everything is squared away... I got my brand new card with a different account number and had some paperwork to fill out and send back to them. Now, to add some insult to this here injury, I just spent five dollars and sixty cents to ensure that this letter gets back to them via priority service with tracking confirmation.

So I'd like to think that everything has been resolved, however, on one of the letters of correspondence I received from my credit card company, it did state that the merchant still has the right to a rebuttal... Meaning that; if the seller of the item that was purchased fraudulently with my credit card decides that they're not going to honor me that amount, they can dispute the charge and basically put up more red tape for me to make my less than enjoyable life only that more miserable! But here's the clincher, folks... for those of you out there (like myself) whom thought you were completely immune to having your credit card number stolen and used without your knowledge; GUESS AGAIN!!! The only time I've ever actually used this card was several years back when I first opened the account, and ever since that time, I've only been using it solely to transfer credit card balances, you know... just to responsibly manage my credit! & So the only question left on my mind here is... HOW IN THE FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN!?!? Maybe it was just an error. Yes, it's very possible for a number inputted on a credit card swipe machine to be entered by mistake, isn't it? But then again, it would need a billing zip code, or some other proof that the owner of the card IS the owner of the card, would it not? So again... I have no idea how the fail safe method for all these point of sale purchase machines failed! Maybe it was a clerical error back at the credit card company's headquarters. Maybe, just maybe... someone forgot to cover their ass while they were busy embezzling company funds and dipping their hands in the honeypot that is the credit card company's long list of clients. Hey! Why not? Inside job bank thefts are very common, so I wouldn't be surprised if the very same thing happened in my case!

So anyways, getting back to my job hunt story, after a couple of online searches here and there in the gig section, I did happen to stumble across a director that seemed to have his proverbial shit together. But then, it was through the process of exchanging emails back and forth to discuss this job that the same scene of never hearing back from them once again reared its ugly head. My first tip off must have been when I received a response after his initial explanation, or should I say full disclosure about how this was not going to be a big lavish production and that it was only a small crew working on the picture... big whoop! And that response should have contained the script, but I had to email him once again to remind him that the script wasn't attached. After reading the script, I really enjoyed the project enough to believe in it as a very hilarious comedy... bear in mind, it was just a short. But at any rate, I wrote back and insisted on reading for the initial part that I expressed interest in, and offered to try out for the other roles if any of those were available as well. And that's when the usual bullshit that has plagued my life started.

You know that feeling you get when you think you're embarking upon some journey or project that'll change your life for the better, and then at the last minute, everything turns the other way on account of some minor technicality... in this case it was lack of communication. I kept getting in touch with this so-called director to inquire about the location of the audition to no avail. No response, nothing... I even noticed that there was a home address with a phone number on the script itself and decided to text that number, and again... nada! So to you, Mr. Director, I say: thank you... thank you for being such an unprofessional prick. You see, there's a difference between being a successful prick and an unprofessional one. The former actually uses and exploits your talent and you both wind up walking away with some credit on IMDB, whereas the later has their heads stuck up Hollywood lala land's ass so long that they just can't see the forest for the trees... and at the end of the day, these are the very same people who wind up indebted to their careers, ill conceived ideas, and poorly based decisions that usually wind up ruining people's careers. So because of this, I say thank you again for not including me in your lovely piece of shit film! I guess I'll have to seek my 15 seconds of fame elsewhere, now... with this Rolling Stones choice anthem as the soundtrack for the movie of my life...

You Can't Always Get What You Want
Live on The David Frost Show 1969

Well... that's about all I have to vent for the time being... You have been reading the disgruntled stylings of P.S. Elliott (AKA: Dr. Gonzo XXVII) reporting for the disassociated press, that is... The Gnoyze Guitar Mods & More Web Blog.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Prince of Persia: Kindred Blades?!?

Greetings once again, my fellow prisoners... due to the present set of circumstances I currently find myself in (i.e. no job, no life, no money) a huge amount of my time has now been vested in rather futile pursuits of self gratification (i.e. completing each and every possible Xbox 360 achievement in my vast library of games).  Yeah... pathetic, right?  I know.  Just bear with me here.  My latest achievement tourney is none other than Ubisoft's Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands.  I used to have this game on the PC platform and sold it, since I wanted to get all the titles I used to have on my PC on my Xbox 360 console.  As it stands, I'm only 2 achievements away from completing all 40... they're basically the two achievements involving taking no damage from the game's antagonist; Ratash.  I can tell that these two achievements are those pain in the ass achievements that many a gamer out there are scratching their heads wondering why it just didn't pop up, despite of all the damage dodging of any and all violent attacks that would diminish the Prince's overall health.  But at any rate, that's probably the only thing that makes this game (and any game for that matter) downright challenging.

Now aside from all this... and getting to the meat of this here blog post, from my many fond memories of playing the previous installments of Prince of Persia: Warrior Within and Prince of Persia: The Two Thrones, I recalled seeing a trailer which featured a comrade for the Prince battling enemies back to back as they were both seen in the thick of it all.  The thing that really stuck out about this was that it was one of those launch game trailers (which usually feature deleted footage, or just early demo footage of the game in question) that didn't really appear in any of those two aforementioned games themselves, but still had a similar rendering to a character that wouldn't feature in the saga until the Forgotten Sands was released... and that's the Prince's brother; Malik, who falls victim by being possessed by Ratash.

Here's the trailer I thought had Malik in it... but it turns out
to be the Prince's shipmate; just a deleted sequence
from the officially released game.

For some reason, I could have sworn that I saw a character that wore a golden mask just as Malik does in The Forgotten Sands, but I just can't recall where I saw this... whether it was unlocked bonus content from the PC Platform version of Warrior Within or the Two Thrones, or if it was in the ending to Warrior Within itself.  So in my quest to find this trailer, I uncovered another fascinating gem, which pratically blew my mind every which way but loose... and thus, this here blog post was born...

And the game in question, is none other than the unreleased early version of The Two Thrones (which kind of failed to live up to its Warrior Within predecessor in my opinion, but is still pretty good in some aspects) which was entitled Prince of Persia: Kindred Blades.  So what's so different about this particular game, you might ask?  Well, in a nutshell... practically just about everything!  For starters, the Dark Prince's skin is drawn completely different.  Instead of the strangely flaming black hair with the glowing tattoos and charcoal skin, we would have been treated to the same sporty Prince hairdo, except, everything would have been negative about it... the hair, for one, would have turned completely white.  Pretty cool, eh?  Wait... there's more.  The regular Prince (or the light side/good Prince) in this game would have been rendered with the same garb he sported in Warrior Within, which pretty much fixed a rather huge visually apparent continuity error occurring at the end of the former game (Warrior Within) with the good ending and the beginning of the officially released Two Thrones.  And that is none other than both the Prince's and Kaileena's clothing changing from their blood red and leather brown colors to those angelic pussy white get ups, which seemed to have given Kaileena a remarkably unexplained breast reduction as well.

Here's the good ending (oh wait... Spoiler Alert!) for
Prince of Persia: Warrior Within.  Note all the visual cues
that would tie in to what would be the unreleased third installment.

So then, learning about this last minute illogical planning decision, courtesy of the marketing executives over at Ubisoft, I finally got an explanation as to why there existed that trailer with Farah (i.e. the princess in the first game in this trilogy/and later quadrilogy; The Sands of Time) being found by the Prince who automatically turns from good to evil (for no reason, other than dramatic effect) which prompts Farah to do a backwards somersault and draw her bow and fire an arrow at him.  Clearly, this is a deleted sequence, since the game play made no reference to their meeting this way, and the Prince tried hard to keep his transformation a secret from her.  But... there still exists a yet to be explained error here as well.  And that is, if this is a deleted scene from the earlier version of the game, why is the Prince seen transforming into the realized version of the Dark Prince from the official Two Thrones release and not the earlier unreleased version?

The same can be said about this trailer below as well... even though this is an official trailer for the game, fans were not treated to this sequence being in the story.  And the interesting part about this sequence (from 0:11 to 0:48 in the video) is you can clearly see the Prince in his Warrior Within garb and not the Two Thrones official skin... but yet, he still transforms into the officially released Dark Prince.  Why?!?

My only guess here is that these trailers were in fact sequences that were from the Kindred Blades version of the game, but were altered at the last minute in order to make it appear to tie in more with the Two Thrones official release... like nobody would notice, right?!?  I must admit that the alternate meeting between the Prince and Farah seemed to have the air of a bad ending to it.  Even though the game's Wiki entry states that the storyline concerning the fate of Farah was abandoned in this game's development, I get the feeling she was probably brought in as a surprise guest at the last minute, judging from the looks of that deleted sequence trailer.  Perhaps it was one of those alternate endings you could achieve if you were to do certain actions that would tie in more to what the Dark Prince would do, or not complete a certain set of other actions (much like what you had to do in order to achieve the good and bad endings in the Warrior Within... i.e. getting all the health upgrades and obtaining The Water Sword) but that's just speculation on my part.  I can't say for certain... but that's just what I gathered after I read this interview with game developer Yanis Mallat.

Anyways... I must admit, that for someone that really enjoyed this rebooted franchise, I had no idea of this early version of the game until now... and yet for some reason, I could always swear I was playing a game that looked like it cut a lot of corners at the last minute, judging from the almost complete lack of that many cut scenes occurring within The Two Thrones game itself.  So I'm left here pondering the usual what if?  Well... instead of complaining about the lack of developer regard for fans of the franchise, let me offer them some constructive advice.  First off... release this game!  And here's a clever way to market it.  Just say it's the unreleased and shelved version of the game, now fully remixed/remastered/what have you and bundle it with the original official release of the game, just so you can make it available to the Xbox 360 platform (which you basically screwed many a loyal fan over by not allowing full backwards compatibility on and favored for a remake in a trilogy pack format on its rival competitor's Playstation console).  And might I add that the HD revamping for this trilogy didn't do the visuals much justice either; just look at this comparison below...

And let's just say, for the sake of argument, that The Kindred Blades project wasn't a fully completed game.  Just finish it in as far as your original vision was concerned, and release it as a three pack.  You can have your original Kindred Blades title, the officially released Two Thrones game, and an additional hybrid version of the two which could easily bring those two aforementioned deleted sequence trailers back into the mix, and quite masterfully, I might add.  And while you're at it, why not do the same for the Warrior Within?  Hell... just release the HD and original trilogy versions on a true Xbox 360 platform, and not a backwards compatible title like Sands of Time, which doesn't even allow for achievements to be earned!  You know, much like Nintendo did when they ported the original Japanese release of Super Mario Bros. 2 to the Super NES console and added The Lost Levels tag to it?  Maybe you can make a hybrid version of the Warrior Within as well by simply jazzing up some of the things that were not as sharp as you had hoped for (i.e. the choice of music and the imbalance of action over compelling storytelling).  Why not just include the scenes that were deleted?  It would be cool to see them play an integral part in the story.  Many people complain about the actor used for the Prince's voice in the second installment; Robin Atkin Downes... but I believe his voice is integral to the story, if you factor in the hardening of the Prince's character after the events that took place in The Forgotten Sands.  So basically put, the Prince grew up the hard way.  Maybe you can just leave his voice as it is, at least up until the very end, where the good ending takes place and then switch back to Yuri Lowenthal, who voiced this character in the first and last installments, as well as the Forgotten Sands insert between the first two titles.

And why not consider having the actress that did the voiceover for Farah in the first adventure (Joanna Wasick) to redub her character in the third installment?   Not to knock Helen King's work or anything... but honestly, her voice work for this character was just too American sounding for such an exotic character.  Far be it from me too critical of this choice, but even Nolan North, who voiced the Prince in the Prince of Persia reboot stated that he would have liked to redo his voice work for that character simply because he felt as though his approach with the American accent was off. Sure, this version of Farah is the hardened warrior and all... but the developers just made a bad decision.  Maybe Joanna wasn't available?  It's kind of strange that she only has two credits to her work on her IMDB profile.  Maybe she retired?  Who knows?  At any rate, what you could do is And you would have yet another newly released three pack on your hands there as well... (i.e. original game/HD version/newly released revamp).  It's just a suggestion, that's all... I just feel that with so many fans out here that actually want to see this early version of the game fully realized and the fact that Ubisoft has declared the Prince of Persia franchise to be on an indefinite hiatus, now would be a good time to relaunch this never before released title.  But don't take my word for it... there's even a petition online to get this game made and readily available to the market!

This has been the illustrious (yet genuinely ill fated) P.S. Elliott (AKA: Dr. Gonzo XXVII) reporting for the disassociated press, that is... The Gnoyze Guitar Mods & More Web Blog.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Art, Schmart...!

Hello once again, my fellow prisoners... it's been quite a few months since my last post, so it now looks like it's time to fall off the literary wagon once again. For, you know, I can't really think of anything besides "viral online marketing" and/or "readily available (and/or accessible) information online" that this 20th century contraption called the "internets" was designed for... other than what I'm doing here (i.e. posting like a whiny lil' bitch about my next to non-existent art career). But hey, this post has been a long time coming, and I find that sometimes the best way to vent my frustrations out on the world is to write an overly critical outlook on such a crackpot idea like say... "the art world" in general.

But before I begin, I'd like to give you a little back story here, as to how I came to this jaded skewed view of a conclusion... (or current perception in this rather dismal point in time of my life) just so you can all really dig where I'm coming from. A few months back, I had a job. It wasn't exactly the most worthwhile job... in fact, it was kind of like the consolation prize for a prisoner on death row. What's that you said? A last minute pardon from the governor? Well, maybe... but not via telephone mind you; it was more like a piss poor Skype connection! Let's just say I've never had the privilege to work in an environment where on any given day, at least two to five co-workers with roving criminal records (you know... as opposed to the open and shut expunged type of records?) would make a rather promising career in a field (which shall remain nameless) into a death match tournament, somewhere along the lines of Darwin's survival of the fittest.

Another Year in Hell Image

I've never once held a position where quite an excessive amount of responsibility was thrown my way, only to see it turn into something that wasn't exactly expressed and/or hinted at during my initial job interview. As a matter of fact, I believe that the job title should have been listed as "de facto babysitter to company psychopaths" but maybe I'm just exaggerating... maybe this is the way things are nowadays, when you have to put up your co-workers antics (some of which may involve temporary harm to one of my five senses... i.e. blown ear drum due to a illegal firework being set off on the premises). I can't count the number of times I was pushed to my limits, without being reminded by the folks that worked there: "We're just a big family... and we like to pull pranks on each other every once in a while!" So basically put, I was in grin and bear it mode... which I've always likened to having my testicles being puréed in some top of the line stainless steel fruit mixing blender of some sort... you know, the one with the chainsaw setting?

Anyways, I'd say that my tenure at this lovely little derriere of a hole must have been longer than I expected. Let's put it this way, my foot was already out the door after the firecracker incident, but the straw that broke the camel's back was an altercation I had on a glorious Monday morning with a bipolar fat fuck of a co-worker... and mind you, I'm not criticizing the overweight contingent of the US population, for I'm a bit on the chunky side myself; instead, I'm referring specifically to fuckers that use their weight as an advantage designed to intimidate others. Yes, it was that bad! I got this fat fuck to stand in fighting position... and without even trying! Basically, the argument was over the lovely selection of air pollution he was listening to at the time, to which I politely said, sorry... I just can't get into this. For I'm from the old school of music, you know? The kind of school that listens to music to do one of two things, either a) relax or b) dance. Anything after that era is usually designed to c) kill, usually via means of violent confrontation.

Chain of Command Image

And far be it from me to be perched upon a moral high horse or anything... as he so eloquently stated like the fat grease monkey he is, but considering my official position was assistant to the store manager, I was probably looking out for the store's best interest, or image, or whatever it is. I mean, we already had a meeting with the store owner concerning the noise levels being at a certain inaudible level to any of the potential customers that frequented the establishment. And since my immediate store manager, who recently had a cancer scare (the kind that comes back after remission) wasn't on the premises, that only added some more fuel to this spectacle of a fire. So I did what any a foolish (and slightly middle aged) young man would do in this position (you know, at the crossroads of one's life, when one finds themselves in the corner of "fuck you" and "I don't give a shit!") would do. I just got up and left, and drove home to that all too familiar reality of "what am I going to do now?"

Well, if it's something that I've learned from attempting to hold down a job such as this one, where I'm given the trustee treatment from my fellow co-workers on account of my store owner's decision to police their activities... and that's for every amount of high blood pressure acquired (especially the ones that bring a lovely little twitch to my eye) there has to be an outlet, or release... some sort of hobby, you know? And that hobby for me has long been my art. I've always been working at it, for as long as I could remember, but only recently got very serious about it (since 2005, to be exact). And after quite a few setbacks, I set out to make my best effort to present my rather large body of work (most of which is still sitting in the basement) on my other website. Not because I felt the immediate need for some type of gratification coming in the form of a sale or two (or three hundred) but because I felt it was time I got my proverbial shit together and did something about my rather incomplete looking website. So at the start of the year, I had scanned most of my work, and went through the whole lengthy process of cataloging it and putting it together for easy online display purposes and what have you. But still, the one thing that eluded me was how to get people's interest. And to this very day, it still does!

So here were some mistakes I made during this period... which would probably classify as my third or fourth wilderness period, mind you... so you'd think I'd learn a thing or two by now. But alas, here's what you SHOULDN'T do, if you're the kind of fellow artist that likes some free advice. Do not pay for any package that involves more Twitter followers and/or Facebook likes. The only type of actual likage (is that even a word?) is the kind that you can garner from actually paying Facebook for advertisement purposes and/or followage (yet another trendy bullshit word) is the kind you find yourself actually engaging in with your Twitter followers... which again is hard for me to do, since I'm not the kind of person that likes to send out mindless tweets every two seconds about everyday things like that strange itching sensation in my crotch and/or the staying power of the flatulence I might have expelled whilst I was writing this here blog piece. No wait... that was actually a weather advisory. Anyways, for those of you that were so bold (and naive, to say the least) to attempt to garner a fake followership (yet another bogus word that Google's auto correct feature likes to point out to me in the form of a red wavy underscore) online to help boost your online presence... there's still a way to remove those fake followers.

I had about 15,000 of these fake zombie follower accounts, thanks to this bargain of a deal (which sadly did not have a money back guarantee)... and four of them actually got suspended. And for some reason Twitter still counts them as followers, so I'll always have an uneven/imperfect ratio. That is... until Twitter's developers get off their lazy asses and do something about it! Thank you very much! But getting off that tangent, I had to actually get rid of these fake followers by blocking each and every one of them (it's really the only way you can do it) because it's not so much tweeting about the latest work of art you have up for sale on eBay and hoping to get at least 15,000 hits to your listing, but tweeting to your 15,000 followers only to get 34 hits to those real followers that were actually listening! So, I had searched online and came across this handy little javascript developer code that would plow through your followers list and get rid of the fake followers. And that website was which is good, but it's not great. (The site is no longer in service, either). The code sometimes locks up, especially if you leave the javascript console open. So what I would do is copy the code, click on the followers tab, open up that aforementioned tool menu on that followers, pasting the code, and getting it to run... at which point a clickable button would appear on the page itself, which I learned by trial and error had a better chance of running without any problems if I closed the developer window... but it only worked up until a thousand to maybe two thousand fake followers were scanned. And honestly, this is not that great a tool to be using to identify fake zombie accounts, but it is a rather convenient automated bot.

And that's when I found out about which is better. Of course, I can't really afford a paid subscription for the time being, but at any rate, this website has it all as far as fake follower analysis is concerned, and it can do quite a few other things as well. So what I wound up doing day by day was using both of these methods together and managed to slim down my account to make sure I wasn't tweeting to a wall. Anyways, that being said... another thing I had to revamp was my YouTube art rendering videos, which I had principally shot about a year ago (2013). I didn't realize that there was actually a way to speed up the video length more by using a thing called a velocity filter, but once I came across that handy little technique, courtesy of a how to YouTube video out there, I successfully managed to trim down my fifteen to eighteen minute bores of slightly sped up videos to meth fueled speed pictures. And this time around, I even added links to my social networks. And that too, is just a matter of using URL redirection to point towards one's pages, just to make it easier for the general public at large to find your stuff online. And yet... I still can't manage to garner enough attention to my would-be art career...

So, just to get back to the gist of what this blog post originally set out to be, before I got into the whole helpful suggestion bit that no one ever bothers to listen to... the fact is, that despite all the work I'm doing, I'm still managing to get nowhere fast. And add to that, that up until a few weeks ago, I was doing a search for art that sells on eBay (yet another thing you shouldn't do unless you really want to torture yourself as an artist) and I came across this hideous looking thing that I couldn't make out at all that sold for a whopping $50,000... or so it seemed. Of course, I took one look at it and thought nothing at the time. But I just had to save it because I was literally dumbfounded as to why anybody would like to pay that much money for such an ugly looking thing that I just couldn't make out. So then I did another search a few days later, still looking at the top sold listings and noticed there was another piece that looked just like it. And then I said to myself... wait a minute, what's going on here? So then I noticed that the pieces all bore the same title, and so I decided to do a more specific search to include the words FLAPPY BIRD ART in the title and was lucky to have not found myself being committed to a mental asylum. Just take a look at some examples of this here lunacy...

Flappy Bird Sold Listings Example 1     Flappy Bird Sold Listings Example 2

Flappy Bird Sold Listings Example 3     Flappy Bird Sold Listings Example 4

So then, I did a bit of online research and realized that this whole craze was a bi product of the developer's decision to take down this multi-million dollar app off of the Android market, mostly due to the negative wave of feedback he got for developing this game in the first place. One can only put up with so much flack coming from very angry parents whose kids were breaking phones that they had bought for them, solely due to the alluring nature of the game itself... you see, it's one of THOSE games, you dig? The kind that looks so simple to play, but is as hard as a bitch, and you always find yourself coming back for more abuse, simply because it looks so easy to master, and yet after a few more tries you just want to chuck your phone against the wall and whatnot. I mean, let's face it... the popularity of the game really caught on after a rather anti-Flappy Bird tweet that read "FUCK FLAPPY BIRD!" for crying out loud. So it's one of those strange destinies written in the stars and all that jazz. The kind that only exists for a brief moment in a capsule of history and thus anything related to it has to be gold, too, you see? Hence all this artwork... But speaking of doomed destinies; here I am, probably destined to forever venture out on this road to financial ruin, unable to pursue my dreams successfully and live off them, and maybe even venting out my creative frustrations over the nuance of a petty little blog post. C'est la vie... Of course, as we all know, appearances can always be deceiving and as I took a second look into the nature of these exorbitant final auction amount eBay listings, I started noticing that the bids placed came from buyers that had no feedback scores; which is a sure sign that these listings were faked somehow. Basically the majority of them were just bids that were falsely racked up so that some actual rich douchebag could put a final whopping bid amount and then promptly proceed to kick himself in the ass the morning after, like some kind of bad hangover. Most of the time, I would come across a duplicate listing, or better put... the relisted item. Chances are that the bidder that put in such a ludicrous amount didn't cough up the money, and so... the poor seller (who may or may have not been involved in the scam) had no choice but to relist the item after they had to file a complaint against the other eBay member that bid such a ludicrous amount in the first place! I could only imagine the horror having to cough up a percentage of the final auction price if that bastard of a buyer refuses to pay!

My Art Listings

And so it's at times like these that I actually feel blessed to be such a failure as an artist... (click the image above). So many listings at such an affordable price... and still: NADA! ZIP! ZILCH! ZERO! Maybe, just maybe; my audience hasn't been born yet. Maybe I'm one of those artists that are destined to be legends after they die, I mean after all... that sort of notoriety goes with this here territory, and not too many artists are that world renowned when they're alive, right? Well, maybe about 99.9% of them are. So I guess I must be that rare .1% since just about everything I do to direct some attention towards my art just goes unnoticed. Oh yeah... one more thing I forgot to mention. I've even branded my images to include links to related social media, which is yet another DIY tip if you're an struggling artist that would probably like to get his or her shit together!

My Flappy Bird Art

And yes... it's true. I even stooped to the level of rendering an original take on the infamous Flappy Bird nose dive, and still have yet to see one red cent for it on eBay! Well, actually I did get an offer of $5.00 as a best offer when I set the asking price at just $50.00... which doesn't leave room for much of a profit now, does it... considering that the lowest price on shipping for such a small item is $5.80. Go figure! Perhaps the whole art scene in general is as rigged as it is on that Art episode (AKA: Season 2, Episode 3) of Dilbert, in which the whole world of art is controlled by five families, all headed by Leonardo da Vinci, whom oddly enough was also on an episode of Futurama. But that's another story... right now, I'm thinking about trying a whole different approach to my art. Perhaps I should video tape a live art execution, as opposed to the whole live rendering thing, you dig? Nothing major... maybe just put some finished works of art through a paper shredder, or dump an oil painting in a vat of paint thinner, or a tub of water if the medium is acrylic. Hell, I can even turn it into a pay-per-view event... which of my works of art would you care for me to destroy next? Or maybe, I can just sum it all up in a way to make it all as catchy as this aforementioned discontinued game phenomenon that has taken this country by a one month storm (or at least two and a half weeks tops!). Yes, that'll definitely do the trick! So, ladies and gentlemen...


This has been the illustrious P.S. Elliott (AKA: Dr. Gonzo XXVII) reporting for the disassociated press, that is... The Gnoyze Guitar Mods & More Web Blog.

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